Year:- circa 1977
Venue:- school classroom
A young, fresh faced Allen is at school. We are all lining up to go into class. At the end of the queue is my teacher. A frightening, forbidding individual, she had those spectacles that she looked over with disdain at any member of the class.
She also wore a long black dress that made her into something out of a horror story. She certainly frightened me. I used to hide under the table in the classroom, terrified out of my wits.
This particular day, as I said, we were all lining up. The fear of walking into the class to face this teacher has now gripped my insides, namely my bladder. Being of a tender age, I didn’t practise bladder control very well. And on this occasion, out it came, a long, golden stream of wee all over the classroom floor.
“Ugggggggghhhhhh!” shouted several of the class as the puddle was revealed. I can’t remember what punishment was coming my way, except to say that someone had to fetch a mop and bucket to clear up after me, not for the first time.
Just fear, sheer terror of facing this teacher, terror of another day at school. In fact, you could say it’s not the first time the piss has been taken out of me. I remember the episode, clear as day. Ah well, I wonder what my parents would have said.
That’s me, the wee schoolboy.