Stomach churning anxiety…

Evening. Woke up this morning with my stomach churning around like a washing machine. Why? Because I had to go and perform my indoor cricket umpiring duties today. Trepidation and apprehension abounds. 

It went ok, could have been better, missed a few things, not absolutely at my best. I always reflect on what could have gone better rather than things that went well. That’s me. Mr. Negative, searching for perfection. Despite the fact I’ve been umpiring for nearly 30 years, I still miss the odd thing or don’t get a decision right. 

But I’d like to end on a positive. I’ve done eight sessions of umpiring this winter and they have been very enjoyable with little or no complaints from the players, or if they have complained, they weren’t in my earshot. So it’s not been all bad. But I still get my anxious moments, I still get stage fright, I still worry that things will go wrong, a bit like my everyday life really. A lack of confidence will always betray me, now and forever more.

Allen Brooks

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Author: allenbrooks44

44 year old adult living with Autism...

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