Yes, two days in a row where I’m doing the exact same task, going to exactly the same place, same time of train, blogging at exactly the same time, woke up at exactly the same time, working with the same person as yesterday.
The only thing that is not exactly the same is my mood. I mean it’s ok, but just not quite with it unlike yesterday. Routine has not been part of my life for some years now, it’s been removed from my psychological make up for a while.
But I need routine. Being autistic means I need to do similar tasks each day. I hate it when things go wrong or there is disruption to the routine, like last week for example. I managed to get through last week by just shrugging my shoulders and accepting my fate. C’est la vie.
I only wish I was doing this five days a week instead of just two days alike. It will happen one day, but not in the foreseeable future. There’s still that element of unsettled that pervades my everyday existence. It won’t go away until it wants to.
That struggle between old me and new me…..that will continue, unabated.