One of those simply forgettable days. Why? Felt terrible for the most part, though I did go out. Go figure.
I got woken up about 8.30 by a call from a work colleague who couldn’t make it to do her volunteering stint at the tea bar today. I then got ready, had breakfast and was just on the point of leaving when the message came through that I wasn’t needed; there were two people there already.
But I thought, to hell with this staying in, I’m going out. And that is where the problems began. The journey was fine, and when I got to the tea bar, I felt so out of it, that I might as well taken a rocket to Mars and tried to engage the inhabitants in conversation. Their conversation may well have been more enlightening than mine.
I felt dreadful. I didn’t want to converse with my two colleagues, I just sat at the table staring into space. The journey home was little better, and the moment I walked through the door, I fell asleep. What good that has done is a moot point.
The sleeping during the day, the lack of enjoyment of activities, the zombie like feeling that’s accompanying me on most days. It’s time to get some medical answers. Back to the doctors I go on Friday. I hate feeling like this. It’s a kind of depressive state. But why? Don’t know at all. It’s a mystery as to how this started. But I need some answers. Quickly.
Just no self esteem or enjoyment, the demons are back. And they’re taking over….
Allen Brooks xx