Epic Fail….disappearing up my own backside!

Not the best of nights at the umpires training course. I wasn’t as cool and calm as I could be. My mate was stuck in traffic and arrived late to pick me up, hence I was a wee bit flustered when setting up the computer and projector.

Just little things going wrong. The internet was very slow, along with the computer, so the two tutors were left waiting for things to load up, leading to a lot of awkward silences and pauses. No one’s fault, but proof that technology can stymie you when you think everything’s hunky dory. 

It was then my turn, and it didn’t go particularly well. I allowed myself to become sidetracked, and some questions from the audience totally threw me. It was like being down a deep hole and trying to get your way back out again. I was vainly looking for help on a couple of occasions, and was grateful those prayers were answered. But I felt I was disappearing up my own backside (pardon the expression), and not making too much sense, not that I ever do! 

Allied to the slow computer, I could feel the frustration boiling up inside. I was glad to get to the end of the lesson. But I suppose it can’t always go right. If it went right every time it would be boring. It’s just that I like everything to be perfect, a sign of autism spectrum disorder. If it doesn’t go right, I freak out.

Another positive thought is that we’re on track to finish the lessons this side of Christmas as we planned, so I suppose that’s a benefit of good preparation. Not one of my best nights. 

Allen Brooks xx

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Author: allenbrooks44

44 year old adult living with Autism...

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