Somebody’s Watching Me…

https://youtu.be/7YvAYIJSSZY
Link is the song Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell 

Notes:- check, Computer working:- check, Soft Drink:- check, Anxiety Levels:- check. Look around the room, there are 30 odd people here. 30 pairs of eyes and ears hanging on my every word.

There’s still a buzz in the room. I call them to order as I’m ready to start. The nerves are bubbling away under the surface. I take a gulp of the drink and I’m ready. Off we go. To start, it all seems ok. I ask the audience if they understand what I’m saying, and I see some approving nods. Not much in the way of puzzled glances….yet.

The computer is slow. The application on screen takes ages to load and reload. I can hear a few tuts and a few mutterings. My mind is deciding on what to ad lib. I keep patient. 

Then the questions begin. One question draws a blunt but honest reply. Then I say something which causes a mixture of amusement, bewilderment and argument. I can feel the ground opening up underneath. Please swallow me up! Please!

I look for help, it’s slow in forthcoming but eventually my team help me out of the deep hole I’ve found myself in. The questions keep on coming, but I’ve lost my self control and calm. I feel flustered, and ask one questioner to save his question for afterwards. I manage to stumble on towards the end, and am glad to draw the proceedings to a close.

That’s how difficult tutoring can be. Those eyes and ears, the shuffling of feet, the muttering of the audience. It wasn’t one of my best nights, by far. I hope to make amends next Monday.

Somebody’s Watching Me….

Allen Brooks xx

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Author: allenbrooks44

44 year old adult living with Autism...

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