The strangeness of my moods and well being continues today. Now for most of last week, it was hot, sunny and dry. Did I go out much to take advantage of the good weather? Not really.
Today in London, it’s positively horrible. Dark skies, heavy rain and it’s just miserable. But I don’t feel too bad, strangely enough. I felt able to talk to my sister for 15 minutes on the phone after I didn’t want to speak to her when she contacted me over the last two days. That must be an indication that I do feel better, talking to someone that I should be talking to on a regular basis. She does realise that I have these spells where I don’t feel so great, and it’s nothing to do with anyone else. It’s how I feel and my rather peculiar state of mind.
It’s all peculiar, I will readily admit. Very up and down with feelings of low mood, anxiety, paranoia and loneliness. Could it be depression again? Could it be making a comeback after a vacation? I hope not. I’m going to put off going to the doctors for a while, just so I can work my way through this bad spell.
But, as I said, slightly better today, despite the weather returning to autumn. Many a psychologist and counsellor have tried to delve into the Allen Brooks mind, and this autism can be a strange beast. I hope that in a few weeks, I can return to the good times again. For the moment, it’s a battle.
Allen Brooks xx